It’s something a lot of people cope with, but few want to talk about – hearing loss and its impact on personal relationships. Both partners can feel aggravated by the misunderstandings that are created by hearing loss.
With Valentine’s Day just around the corner isn’t it the perfect time to show your love and appreciation for your loved one? A great way to do this is to talk to your loved one about your hearing loss.
Having “the talk”
A person with untreated hearing loss has a 2.4 times more likely chance of developing cognitive disorders like dementia and Alzheimer’s disease according to some studies. When the part of your brain used for hearing becomes less active, it can begin a cascade effect that can impact your whole brain. Doctors call this brain atrophy. You know how the old saying goes, “use it or lose it”.
Depression cases are nearly half in individuals who have normal hearing compared to those who have hearing loss. People frequently become stressed and agitated as their hearing loss progresses according to research. This can result in the person being self isolated from family and friends. As they fall deeper into depression, people who have hearing loss are likely to stop taking part in the activities they once enjoyed.
Relationships between family, friends, and others then become strained. Communication problems need to be managed with patients and compassion.
Mystery solved
Your loved one may not be ready to inform you they are experiencing hearing loss. They may feel shame and fear. They may be in denial. You may need to do a bit of detective work to figure out when it’s time to have the talk.
Because you can’t hear what your partner or parent hears, you’ll have to rely on outward cues, like:
- Starting to notice anxiety and agitation in social situations
- Avoiding busy places
- Avoiding conversations
- Complaining about buzzing, humming, static, or other noises that you can’t hear
- Watching TV with the volume extremely high
- Repeated misunderstandings
- Sudden difficulty with work, hobbies, or school
- Failing to hear alerts, doorbells, and other essential sounds
Plan to have a heart-to-heart discussion with your loved one if you detect any of these symptoms.
What is the best way to discuss hearing loss?
Having this conversation may not be easy. A spouse in denial may brush it off or become defensive. That’s why discussing hearing loss in an appropriate manner is so important. The steps will be pretty much the same but maybe with some small modifications based on your particular relationship situation.
- Step 1: Tell them that you love them without condition and appreciate your relationship.
- Step 2: You are worried about their health. You’ve read through the studies. You know that neglected hearing loss can lead to an increased risk of depression and dementia. That’s not what you want for your loved one.
- Step 3: You’re also worried about your own health and safety. Your hearing may be damaged by an overly loud TV. In addition, studies show that elevated noise can create anxiety, which may impact your relationship. If you have an intruder in your house or you’ve taken a fall, your partner may not hear you calling for help. People relate to others through emotion. If you can paint an emotional picture of the what-ifs, it’s more impactful than merely listing facts.
- Step 4: Decide together to schedule an appointment to get a hearing assessment. Do it right away after making the decision. Don’t wait.
- Step 5: There may be some objections so be ready. You could find these oppositions at any point in the process. You know this person. What sort of doubts will they have? Money? Time? Possibly they don’t see that it’s a problem. They might feel that homemade remedies will be just fine. (“Natural hearing loss remedies” aren’t effective and can even be harmful.)
Be ready with your answers. Even a bit of rehearsal can’t hurt. They don’t have to match those listed above word-for-word, but they should address your loved one’s concerns.
Relationship growth
If your partner is unwilling to talk about their hearing loss, it can be difficult. Openly talking about the effect of hearing loss on your relationship can help to solidify a plan to deal with any communication issues and ensure that both partners are heard and understood. In this way, your relationship will get stronger and your loved one will take steps to live a longer, healthier life. And relationships are, after all, about growing together.
References
https://www.nidcd.nih.gov/health/statistics/quick-statistics-hearing#
https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/hearing-loss-common-problem-older-adults
